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More something to share January 19, 2011

Posted by jvmullin in Job Searching, Job Searching.
Tags: , , , , , ,

My friend that I mentioned in my last post tells me nothing has changed and if anything has gotten worse.

This has me thinking about coyotes! Coyotes you say what are you thinking and how did you get to that?

Coyotes are canine and like to be in packs (aka family) and the packs are run by an alpha male(dad) and a dominant female(mom). Now since coyotes are animals this is just the way nature intended it for the survival of the pack.

Now humans have some of the same traits we see in coyotes the alphas and dominants. You can find these traits not only in parents but in your friends and colleagues. You know the ones that I mean those with an insatiable drive to not only control their lives but to tell everyone else what they should be doing as well.

Now while these people have the best of intentions they are so consumed with this drive that they cannot see beyond themselves and their control dominance. In other words the world according to me and how I want it run types.

These people are so controlled by their alpha/dominant gene that they become blinded to their effects on others. I believe that they have no clue not a single idea as to the destructive nature their dominance has on others. It is the same effects as a bully boss when you were working.  The stress, low self esteem, low self value, you begin to doubt yourself, and your afraid to make any move outside of the norm for fear it will not be right.

Now take these effects and magnify them 10 X because you are unemployed. These combined effects can tear any human down to a pile of worthlessness.  This is one of the reason that we teach unemployed to avoid negative people as much as possible. We should also teach them to try real hard to avoid the alphas and dominants also.

It amazes me that just because we have a brain that supposedly evolved to something better than an ape that we are so intelligent. But yet we do stupid things to others, we hurt others with no thought as to the consequences of our actions. These people are so self involved or focused that they can’t see beyond the me to realize the damage they are causing.

So if you are in this situation what can you do?

Well leave this out where they can read it. The hardest thing to do is to muster up the courage to confront these people and get them to understand that their destructive nature is keeping you unemployed. You need to point out the increased stress level, the reduction of self worth, and taking your focus off the search and putting it on how to keep these people off your back.

Your job search is hard work enough dealing with unprofessional recruiters and HR types who never return calls or get annoyed when you try to get a status update from them, researching companies, writing cover letters, and networking.

You truly want a job just so you can coast a little. Having a job isn’t anywhere as difficult as searching for a job. Yet the abuse yes I said abuse by parents, family and friends marches on.

I say to these people that if they want to really help, then they need to sit down with you and find out exactly what you are looking for. They need to know what information you need on a company and to help you research. They need to talk to their friends and family to get the word out that you need a job or more contacts. They need to keep your life as normal as it was when you had a job, not treat you like you have a deadly plague they might catch. People have the misconception that unemployment is contagious. This is a myth!!

So a word of advice to you alphas and dominants out there, if you are not part of the solution, then you have become part of the problem so BACK OFF!. Job seekers need encouragement and normalcy in their life not more stress and abuse.



1. 405club - January 19, 2011

Sorry to hear you’ve dealt with these kinds of issues like many of us have. Come by The 405 Club Un-employment support network and we’ll be there for moral support! Keep fighting!

jvmullin - January 19, 2011

I am a member of an organization called WIND for unemployed professionals. The site is at http://www.windnetworking.net.
I thank you for the offer of support. Maybe we can contribute to each others blogs.

2. jvmullin - January 20, 2011

If you are talking the wind networking link it worked for me and I even tried it a few different ways.
Try it again, please and let me know what happens.

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